“Charles, please do you have condom?”, a voice said from the window.
It’s 2 am and I thought I was dreaming.
Why would someone be asking me for condom from the window this early morning. Is this the new strategy by armed robbers?
“Charles, please wake up. Help a brother out. Do you have condom?”
This voice sounds like my neighbor Nelson.
“Nelson, is that you?”, I managed to reply.
“Yes bro. It’s me o. You get condom?”, he said like a possessed animal but in a still small voice so as not to wake the compound.
“My brother. I don’t have o. I used the last one yesterday”. I replied.
“I’m finished. I’m finished. I’m fini….” were the last words I heard from Nelson as he strode back to his flat.
“Why is Nelson looking for condom at this time of the morning?”, I thought to myself.
“Well, that’s his business” as I continued the sweet sleep this condom looking for man disturbed me from.
I got up later in the morning and while taking out the trash, I saw Nelson cleaning his car.
“Nelson. Good Morning bro”, I greeted.
“Charles, Good Morning”, he replied.
“Please o. Did you come to my place yesterday to ask for something?”, I stylishly inquired in case I was dreaming of that incident.
“Yes bro. I’m sorry for disturbing”, he replied.
“I had a babe over last night and I thought I still had condoms in the house. She was already undressed and it was time to perform and no condom in sight. I wanted to die. I had already paid her o. I looked everywhere and no single condom. You know the other neighbors are married men, asking them for condom will make their wife’s suspicious so I had to ask you”. He said with a look of despair.
“Nelson!!!” I replied in laughter.
“Wait. Before I continue. What did you do? Did you dive in without condom?” I inquired.
“My brother. After spending 20k? Something must kill a man. Shey HIV is better than Coronavirus”.
“Nelson!!!!!”, I shouted in amusement.