Over a decade before I lost my virginity, with the uncrossing and crossing of her legs to reveal her private part, Catherine Tramell played by Sharon Stone in the 1992 movie titled ‘Basic Instinct’ had more or less sealed her legacy as a sex goddess and defined the sexuality of a 9 year old boy.
This was 1997 or so and the era of renting action movies for a paltry sum, watching it and returning them back. My kid brother and I had a knack for collecting money from daddy and renting a few Jet Li, Jackie Chan, Arnold Schwarzenegger classics.
This day I went to the movie place, a stone throw from my house alone to rent a movie and decided to rent “Basic Instinct” featuring Michael Douglas and Sharon Stone”. At the end of the movie, tons of sex scenes, and that famous leg crossing scene, plenty rewind-pause-play action, I had refused to return the movie. I lied to the owner that I lost it and gladly payed the penalty for a lost cassette.
I was barely 10 years but the desire to explore my body and that of the opposite sex was given a kick in the bum. Evolving into a teenager, sex and all that it came with was the most interesting thing in the World. It took me many years to delve into the deep end but sex to me was definitely a basic instinct as puberty set in.
Sex was a topic discussed in hushed tones in an era of no mobile phones, no social media, no iPhones, no home made or professionally produced pornography, no scantily dressed ladies, no g-strings and thongs and maybe no sugar daddies.
Now imagine this social media era with all the above and more being displayed like sirens on the top of a Police car. Sex is not only the most interesting thing in the World in the mind of a teenager in his century but something sooner or later they would venture into willingly, deceitfully or even forcefully.
Recently downloaded an app that shows the volume of searches for a particular keyword per month in Google and below are the figures for the following keywords.
Money had 1,220,000 searches per month in Google.
God had 823,000 searches per month in Google.
Sex on the other hand, had 45,500,000 searches.
That means sex was searched over 35 times more than money and over 55 times more than God.
Everyone wants to know more about sex and that’s majority of teenagers experiencing puberty.
So when would parents and guardians stop this hypocritical “Don’t let a man touch you” and “Don’t get pregnant in my house” mantra we keep drumming into the ears of young girls. We lock them at home, keep them away male friends and forbid association with men but yet tell them next to nothing about sex. We task Biology teachers with the responsibility of teaching our kids about those vital organs on their bodies.
When would religious leaders, Pastors and the likes stop the defunct “Sex is bad”, “Sex is sin”, “Sex is an abomination”, “Abstinence is the only way” message we keep drumming into the ears of these inquisitive teenagers. We tell them sex is bad and a sin but hardly tell them why and as the kids they are, they would want to find out themselves.
It’s time we stop making teenagers feeling guilty for thinking about sex. It’s basic instinct. The same way animals have sex without training or porn videos, same with humans. If God didn’t want us to have sex, I’m sure men would have pipes for urination instead of the penis.
The same way a child waits 9 months to be ‘mature’ enough before it leaves the confines of his mother’s womb, that’s the same way sex should be delayed till one is mature enough to engage in it. That’s the message.
The key word is “Maturity and Safe Sex” not “Abomination and Marriage” (if he/she decides to wait to marriage. Fantastic).
Trust me, telling a teenager nothing about sex and admonishing (s)he to wait till marriage to experience sex is like telling a dog not to bite someone when hungry. Only a matter of time.