There used to be a time when virginity was generally synonymous to virtue in the culturally scheme of things. Youths especially girls were encouraged to avoid sexual intercourse till marriage because virginity was a pride to the girl’s family, admiration for the future husband and show of self worth for the girl in question.
How has time changed…..
Wester culture education, exposure, social media influence, inquisitiveness, curiosity, stubbornness, peer pressure and in some cases low self esteem has made virginity seem achaic and old fashioned and without value.
Cultural tenets have long slacked on the topic of virginity with religion slowly loosing it’s grip on the subject matter with some preaching abstenance from sex not chastity. Big difference.
It was in this school of thought that I was asked my opinion on getting married to a virgin.
A broad smile crept up on my face because I expected my response to shock the “asker”.
Then I commenced.
“What is a virginity?” Virginity is defined as a state of never having had sexual intercourse. Emphasis is on ‘never had in sexual intercourse’.
Then I continued…..
“What is sexual intercourse?” It is defined as sexual contact between individuals involving penetration especially the insertion of a man’s erect penis in a lady’s vagina.
Therefore a virgin is someone who hasn’t had vaginal penetration.
But then again, there are many sexual relations that mustn’t culminate in penetration including oral and anal sex, aggresive foreplay, kissing, fondling, caressing, smooching and the likes.
The term ‘virgin’ has long vacated the ranks of defining the sexually naive, and inexperienced folks with some virgins having more exposure and experience in sexual matters than even their sexually active counterparts.
Click HERE to read the article “Understanding Virginity and The 5 Types of Virgins” for more information on the subject matter.
So the right question has evolved from “would you marry a virgin?” to “would you marry a chaste virgin?”
Whereas virginity is abstinence from sexual intercourse, chastity on the other hand is refraining from any form of genital sexual relations, inappropriate touching, anal/oral sex, kissing, immodest or inappropriate conversations, viewing of pornography, masturbation and even sexual fantasizing.
Virginity can no longer be used as a yardstick in judging purity and virtue in out ever evolving world. But where virginity is failing, chastity has risen to the occasion.
Remember, it’s no longer “are you a virgin?”, it’s now “are you a chaste virgin?”. Big difference.