I had just endured a horrible night with a whole feast of mosquitoes taking turns to somehow reduce the amount of blood in my body. That experience gave birth to the much read and popular “7 Relationship Lessons Mosquitoes Teach Daily“.
I really didn’t envision writing another ‘mosquito’ article but then again, why not milk the concept. Even smart movie producers know the potency of having a sequel to a successful movie and what better subject to solicit for advice from the imperious mosquitoes than sex.
So as a sequel to the original article, let’s delve into the waters of sexuality and look at how mosquitoes advice us on having a satisfactory sex life.
7 Sex Lessons Mosquitoes Teach–>>
1. Before sex: Mosquitoes aren’t just born out of the blue, they are meticulously birthed. The female mosquitoes in need of protein for their eggs go out in search of a blood meal. So that’s why they suck your blood (nothing personal…lol). After sucking blood, they seek for stagnant water to lay their eggs. After a few days usually 10 days, the eggs hatch into larvae then to wigglers. The wigglers then develop into pupae and after several days, the pupae changes into mosquitoes. It’s a process and none can overtake the other.
How well do you know your partner before having sex?
What else do you admire about her asides her voluptuous body?
What else do you admire about him asides his sense of humor and looks?
Do you know what makes him tick?
Do you know her likes and dislikes?
Do you know her dreams and goals?
Do you know what makes his heart beat?
Follow a process. Don’t just rush into sex.
2. The little fly: As a little boy, I didn’t know much about sex but the earliest sex education I got weren’t through the efforts of Mr. Edowo, my Biology teacher but by my sexually exposed seniors watching porn in the hostel after night out. The first lesson porn exposed me to was the importance of the size of a man’s penis in satisfying a woman. All the porn stars all seemed to be endowed and the ladies loved it.
Growing up and being exposed to sex showed the truth behind that earlier theory but what porn didn’t tell me was that to satisfy a woman takes more than being heavily endowed. It was way more than that.
It dawned on me that being heavily endowed wasn’t top of a woman’s sexual needs, knowing how to handle her body was. You don’t have to have a womb destroying tool to satisfy a woman, even if you were small down there, use it judiciously to arouse her erroneous zones. Learn what turns her on. Study her moans. Use your tongue. Kiss her. Pet her. Romance her. Get her wet and dripping. Make her cum.
Like the mosquitoes, as little as they are, they have more impact on the human race than any flying creature God created. As an African Proverb deftly put it, if you think you are too small to make a difference, you haven’t spent a night with a mosquito.
It’s not how big brother but how well.
3. Mosquitoes suck: I was having a discussion with a disgruntled woman lacking sexual satisfaction with her husband. She was of the opinion that to attain her sexual peak desired getting head but her husband was having none of it. He felt it was ‘dirty’ and couldn’t imagine himself going down on her.
So this is how mosquitoes function, they suck and spit. As they suck the blood of their victim with their long pointed mouth part (proboscis), they pump saliva into your body to fasten the process which gives you the bumps you have after a mosquito bite.
To be a better lover, you need to practice the suck and spit technique.
Instead of diving head straight into sex, utilize your saliva and lick unprintable parts of your partner. Every guy loves head. Every girl loves head. Be ahead by giving head..lol
4. Hibernate: Have you ever wondered why mosquitoes don’t survive in cold regions of the world? They can’t survive at temperatures less than 50 degrees so the adult females of some species find a hole where they hibernate and wait for warmer weather. By so doing, they avoid the colder temperatures and live up to six months while the male lives for a few weeks.
When a relationship is built on sex, it’s like building a house on a faulty foundation; it will come crashing down sooner or later. In order to have a long lasting relationship, learn to hibernate your sex life and build yourselves. Don’t always have sex whenever you guys are together. Go off sex for a month. Build your understanding. Build your dreams. Communicate. Play games. Take vacations together. Build a rapport. Be best friends before you become lovers. Hibernate.
5. Change your style: There are around 3,000 mosquito species in the world but the dominant one in Africa is the anopheles (the malaria carrier).
In that same vein, there are over 1,000 sex positions and concepts in the world but the dominant one is missionary position. Till today, I have no idea who came up with the missionary position concept.
Who told us that a man must always be on-top during sex?
Who gave us the idea that a woman must be the submissive partner while the man the dominant?
Who gave couples the idea that sex must always be in the bedroom?
Who gave sexually active partners the notion that sex must be mundane and rigid?
There are so many things that married couples aren’t doing and it’s making sex feel like a task, something one must do to fulfill marital vows.
It’s time for married couples to leave their comfort zones and experiment.
Have you tried role playing?
Are you aware she could play a nurse and you a sick patient?
Are you aware he could a police man and you a criminal?
Have you tried BDSM (Bondage, Dominance, Submission and Masochism)?
Are you aware he could tie you to the bed poles?
Are you aware she could spank you with your belt?
Have you tried public sex?
Are you aware you both can have sex in your car in a shopping mall’s parking lot?
Are you aware you could go down on him while watching a movie at the cinema?
Have you tried bedroom less sex?
Are you aware that sex in the kitchen is so much fun?
Are you aware that sex in the parlor is more enticing?
Have you tried something else?
Are you aware that the helicopter style exists?
Are you aware of other sexual positions asides missionary and doggy?
Spice up your sex life. Don’t be boring. Common.
6. Be vocal: Mosquitoes make that annoying zzzzzzzzzzz sound when flying over your ears because their wings can beat up to 500 times per second. They are known for their trademark sound which heralds the arrival of a mosquito and makes the prospective victim take notice and guard against the incoming bite.
What’s your trademark sound during sex? It’s called ringtone.
Are you the silent type?
Moaning is part of sex and should never be downplayed.
Instead of standing there looking like a statue, it’s time to show how you feel by the sounds you make. Tell him where you want to be touched. Tell him when you are feeling it by the loudness of your moans.
It’s not a man’s thing to moan during sex but it’s not a crime to talk nasty.
Tell her how she’s making you feel. Ask her if she’s enjoying it.
7. Mosquito nets: Insecticide treated nets have been shown to reduce malaria among children and pregnant women by more than 50 percent.
If you are unmarried and sexual active, then isn’t it wise to use your own ‘mosquito nets’ to avoid ‘malaria’ cases? Use a condom to avoid sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy.
Even for the married folks, family planning is key. Space your children. Use condoms, pills, injections as prescribed by your Doctor. Sex doesn’t always have to result in a baby. Think about it.