Growing up, I faced competition in almost every aspect of my life. From fighting for the TV remote control with my siblings which I usually got as the okpala (first born) to the ‘hustle’ for top spots in class with my classmates. It was from one neck cracking experience to another but nothing frustrated me more than the issue I am just about discussing: GIRLS.
I was barely 15 year old when this black quirky boy transferred to my school. Let’s call him Dapo. Dapo wasn’t all that smart (maybe I am just hating) and wasn’t as fine as I was (now I am not hating, I’m sure) but one thing he knew how to do better than most guys in our class was toasting girls.
Can you imagine? I was this cute tall light skinned boy as single as the number 1 and struggling to get a girl to say “I love you” to talkless of getting a kiss and here walked in this annoying dark skinned not-so-fine boy that got all the girl’s attention. Now you feel my pain.
“Why don’t I have a girlfriend?”, I would ask myself in my quiet time. I might not have been vocal enough to spit girl attracting lines but for what I lacked in vocals, I thought I made up graciously in humor, height and handsomeness (all h’s….*wink*).
I was damn wrong.
It took me a few years to be able to voice my feelings to a girl and at last get my lips disvirgined but what life taught me and continues to teach me in sometimes subtle and other times aggressive ways is that girls are meant to be chased. Nature has made it so.
So why do guys chase girls?
1. Adam led the way: After God created man, He saw it was not good for Adam to be alone and He created a woman. When Adam awoke and saw Eve, he didn’t say “well, if she likes me, she should say something”. He didn’t wait for God to speak. He didn’t watch her and decide if he should approach her or not. What did he do?
You guessed it. He toasted her.
He said immediately after seeing her “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh”. In 21st century English, Adam meant “baby, you look gorgeous. Without you I can’t function. Without you there is no me”.
So if anyone advises a lady to toast a guy, remind them that Adam serenaded Eve not the other way around.
2. Sperm inspired: So your father released you as a sperm along with millions other sperms. Instead of waiting for the your mother’s released egg to meet the sperms, you guys swam as fast as possible to meet the egg. Now here comes the hard part, the egg plays hard to get. You and your other sperm siblings struggle to fertilize the egg and whoever gets in first renders the rest useless. You won. Even your conception shows that men chase women not the other way around.
3. God said so: One of the most important and remarkable scriptures in the Bible concerning the gender entitled with ‘making the move’ is found in Proverbs 18:22 which says “Whoever findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor from the Lord”. It clearly encourages a man to find the woman not the other way around with benefits inclusive.
5. Nature specific: I don’t know about you but watching animals mating in National Geographic Channel taught me a valuable lesson and that’s that even male animals do the chasing. Let’s take a look at just two.
i. Giraffes: Male giraffes stalk female giraffes on heat with the female sometimes continually walking or running away from him. During this time, he will attempt to keep other males away from the female as he pursues her. Key word: “pursues”.
ii. Honey bees: During a bees mating ritual, a virgin queen bee will fly out in search of male bees (drones). The drones swarm around the queen competing with a chance to nail her, until one ballsy drone makes his move in a mid-air sexual encounter with the queen. Key word: “competing”.
Its clear that the giraffe and bees pursue and compete with each other for their “girls”. If male animals don’t wait for girls to toast them, who are we not to take the initiative?
6. Ego boosting: Men were made by God to be project driven individuals. Men derive pleasure from setting a goal and accomplishing set targets. Therefore when a man sets a target of making a million Dollars, he goes after it with all vigor and rejoices when his goal is met. So also is a man going after a woman, the woman in question becomes his project while he is the project manager. His mission could be to sleep with her or date her or marry her but he won’t let go until his mission is accomplished. A completed mission comes with a refilling of his ego and pride. He walks tall knowing that he got the babe other men couldn’t get.
But peradventure he fails to convince her, he doesn’t whine about it, he moves on to the next project (another woman). Men are that ‘heartless’.
7. Girls won’t and shouldn’t: There are times I walk into a party of people and then exchanges glances with a particular girl amongst them. She smiles and looks at me with the “come over here and talk to me eyes”. I respond with the “why don’t you come over here and make the first move eyes”. If I didn’t make the move, trust me, she won’t bother. Only maybe 3% of girls are bold enough to make the first move. So if you want to get laid, men have no choice to make the move.