Women and The Valentine Day Mindset


While growing up as a teenager new in the love game, Valentine’s day was one of those days that puzzled me. I didn’t have my first real girlfriend till I was in SS3 (unbelievable innit?) but that didn’t stop me from watching from the sidelines as my classmates and seniors serenaded their girls with gifts. It was always a case of young teenage boys saving their pocket money just to make their girls smile on this mysterious day called Valentine’s day. A day where boyfriends showed affection to their girlfriends through gifts. A day where toasters tried to woo a girl with gifts she couldn’t refuse.

You needed to see the effort these guys put to buying gifts for their girlfriends/toastee, you would be left perplexed. From going as far as the next city to buy these expensive gifts to spending up to two months chop money just to impress a girl. Another twist to the Valentine’s day madness was the pressure that accompanied it. You don’t get your girl something and who betide you if the boyfriends of her friends get them gifts then be ready for a cold reception when next you are her. It was as if Valentine’s day was like a girlfriend celebration day (I grew up with that mindset).

As a grownup, I have realized that that assumption is far from the true reflection of that special lover’s day. It is actually a day set aside to celebrate lovers (not celebrate love – love is celebrated on a daily basis). A day where a man celebrates his woman and a woman celebrates her man.
It is time for women of this dispensation, the give-me-give-me, the buy-for-me kind of women very popular in Africa to change their mindset and not take Valentine’s day as a day to accumulate but a day to give.

A day to be thoughtful and look beyond self for once. It is time for our women to grow up from the singlet, boxers, perfume, wristwatch, handkerchief gifts they get their men on Valentine’s days. A working class lady is in a very good position to buy something worthwhile for her man but being a student doesn’t get a girl excused. Instead of spending that money he gave you for hair, save it and buy him something thoughtful.
As a matter of fact, I think it’s high time we dedicate one Valentine’s day specifically for women to serenade their men. Guys don’t buy gifts this Vals day, let the women do the buying.

NB: Ladies, sex is not a Valentine’s day gift, in case you were planning on using that cheat code to get away from getting your man something. Mind you, good sex won’t hurt though. Men will always be men for crying out loud. Lol

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