The word virginity is one of the most misplaced/misquoted/misused/misguided words used to define sexuality known to man. Virginity within the context of this write-up is used to define the sexuality of a female mainly because; no one really cares if a male is a virgin and there is no concrete biological evidence used to ascertain the virginity of a male.
Talking about virginity as it affects a female, isn’t as simple as ABC. Virginity used to be identified with the presence of a hymen but it isn’t that simple anymore. The hymen is a membrane that surrounds or partially covers the external vaginal opening which gets torn as soon as a female is penetrated is no longer a viable form of identifying a virgin anymore. Read Understanding Her Private Part for more information about the hymen and other parts of the vagina.
According to social belief, a virgin is one that has never had sex with a man before. From a religious perspective, a virgin is one that has decided to forego her sexually active past and chosen to remain chaste til marriage. From the biological inclination, a virgin is one that has her hymen intact.
Lastly from a cultural perspective, a virgin is a naive, inexperienced, sexually inactive lady that has never had sex.
Now we have looked at the different classes of virgins, lets look at the different types of virgins.
1. The Virgin’s Virgin aka The Virgin: This is the girl who is informed of sexual matters but has chosen to remain untouched literally. She’s the kind of virgin that has probably kissed or even allowed a guy get to second base (her breasts) but that’s the most any guy has gone. Her veejay has never been seen or touched. This is the virgin’s virgins. They are made up mostly of religious fanatics, feminists and what we call in Africa “holy holy girls”.
2. The Technical Virgin: This is the most famous type of virgin. You know the virgin that has never really had penetrative sex but has done every other sexual act known to man? This is her. She’s the kind of virgin that isn’t even sure of her virginity. I remember reading the humorous story of a pregnant technical virgin. According to her, she never had penetrated sex but found herself pregnant and was shocked. Could a technical virgin get pregnant? Of course. A technical virgin might not have been penetrated but as long as she engages in the sexual act I call “kiss and tell” whereby the tip of the penis robs sexually against the clitoris and the entrance of the vagina. If her partner ejaculates at the entrance of her veejay, semen could accidentally sip into the vagina coupled with the enabling environment around a sexuality stimulated swim into her and fertilize an egg. A technical virgin has never had penetrative sex mainly because of fear not resolve. The fear of sexual pain, the fear of pregnancy, the fear of STDs. Some technical virgins are more sexually experienced (except penetration) than many sexually active girls.
3. The Disvirgined Virgin: This is the girl that has been disvirgined but not penetration by a man. This could be as a result of the insertion of fingers, candle, the end of a toothbrush/hair comb/pencil and many other obscene objects into the vagina for stimulation (trust me, it happens). These objects could be inserted by the girl during masturbation, by a guy during foreplay or by another girl (lesbianism). The introduction of these objects tears the hymen and renders her biologically disvirgined even though she hasn’t had proper sex before.
4. The Accidental Virgin: The accidental virgin and the disvirgined virgin are both similar but the difference lies in the intent. Whereas the disvirgined virgin had her hymen torn consciously/intentionally, the accidental virgin’s hymen may be lacerated by disease, injury, medical examination or physical exercise.
5. The Justifiable Virgin: Last but definitely not the least is the justifiable virgin. Simply put, these are the girls unfortunate enough to lose their virginity in the cruelest way; rape, incest or even pedophilia. Spare a though for the 19 year old girl who has chosen to remain a virgin till marriage but gets raped by the robbers who visited her house. Also the 13 year old girl that was repeatedly raped by her own father while growing up or even the 5 year old baby who was sexually assaulted by a pedophile. Their hymens might be broken, they may have been penetrated but due to the non consensual nature of the act (it was not their choice), they are also considered virgins, I believe they have a right to.
So there you have it, virginity has been simplified and broken down into the simplest form possible. This goes a long way to show you that the state of the hymen is not a conclusive indicator of virginity. Next time someone claims to be a virgin, send them this article and ask “what sort of virgin are you?”
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