Identifying Pay-As-You-Go Relationships


Angela has been dating Uche for a little over a year now. The relationship started while Uche was in Cotonou on business and Angela was schooling in one of the Eastern states. After a while apart, they both currently reside in one state after Uche returned from his business trip and Angela finished school. Both engaged themselves with work during the weekdays so weekend was virtually the only available time for them to see and bond.
The issue according to Angela was the fact that they never hung out, saw a movie, partying, or even sight seeing or any of the fun stuff she wanted to do. Their weekends were more or less routine where she was invited over to his place, she makes meals for him, takes care of the house and his laundry and they had sex. In her own words “I sometimes spend the weekend at my boyfriend’s place but I suddenly began to realize that he grumbles whenever I visit him during my period. I also observed that he seems to give me pocket money based on the rounds of sex he has with me. Let’s assume we had sex 5 times, he would give me N5,000 for transport and when we have it only 3 times he would give me N3,000. I think my boyfriend is paying N1,000 for every round of sex he had with me”.

Jerry is a graduate seeking employment after undergoing his mandatory one year service with an Insurance company. He has been dating Sade while serving and was earning a living. But as soon as he finished service and was no longer in paid employment, funds dried up and so did his love life. In his own words “I began noticing a few months after service that my girlfriend was no longer interested in spending time with me. We had a tradition of going to the cinema once a month and hanging out but as soon as I stopped working, it seems her love for me dried up. I was fond of recharging her lines weekly, paying for her BIS, giving her some money when she comes visiting but ever since I couldn’t fulfill those obligations, she started distancing herself from me. Now I’m not sure if she actually loved me in the first place or was looking for someone to take care of her financially”.

Most lovers have found themselves in contract based relationships. The type of relationship that says “give me something and I will give you love in return”. For the ladies, its financial care in exchange for “love” while for the guys, its sexual care in exchange for “love”.

9 Signs that point to a pay-as-you-go relationship:
1. If he avoids you when you are on your period.
2. If he likes to “hang out” at home.
3. If he’s too sex conscious.
4. If she’s always asking for material things.
5. If she avoids you when you are broke.
6. If she calls you mostly at the end of the month (when you receive your salary).
7. If she’s always asking for money for her upkeep including change of hair and new phones.
8. If the pocket money he gives you is determinant on your sexual performance.
9. When she regularly compares you to other men like “is it not your mates that are buying iPhone 6 for their girlfriends?”

Contracts relationships never develop into marriage because conditions are never enough to sustain a happy marriage and for those that do, they end up in frustration. If you are in a contract relationship, you have two options: Leave or make sure you are made a full time employee not a contract staff because when push comes to shove, you will be sacked.

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