Breakup Doesn’t Mean War


I celebrated my birthday today and I received calls/messages from my ex girlfriends wishing me a happy birthday with a few prayers sprinkled in. The relationship I have with my exes transcends beyond the normal an-ex-is-an-enemy mentality. I check on them once in a while and still call them the pet names I used for them while we were dating (works for me, mustn’t work for you).

The animosity shared between former lovers post breakup is alarming. Former soul-mates hating each other even with more passion than the love with which they had for each other. It’s no secret that I am all in favor of an amicable/mature/respectful/civil breakup if and when necessary because life is way too short to hate/dislike/despise people especially those you loved in the first place.

Enough of the bitter breakups, he broke your heart when he cheated on you with your best friend, its had to take but instead of seeing the cup half empty, I encourage you to see it half full. Alternatively, see it from the angle that he did what he did now, exposing his true self and helping you dodge a bullet (commitment or marriage) because “one day he’ll realize he lost a diamond while playing with worthless stones” – Turcois Ominek.

I have said times without number that the biggest problem most ladies have before entering a new relationship is ending the old one on a soar note. That’s where the popular “all guys are the same” mantra emanated from and this attitude would give the unfortunate new dude a false start with the task of cleaning up the former guy’s mess while building his. Remember, “sometimes good things fall apart for better things to fall together” – Marilyn Monroe.

Guys aren’t immune to heartbreak themselves and a few have gone on to wish evil on a former lover because she betrayed his love and violated his trust. It might hurt but breakups shouldn’t be brutal, it shouldn’t. Remember, a breakup shouldn’t spell doom for a friendship, never slam the door on a past relationship, settle like two grownups, close the door gently and move on.
Note: The friends after a relationship rule doesn’t apply to those that were in a bad, abusive, and tense relationship. In that case, it is better to forgive and MOVE ON but do not hate or wish evil.  Also, most people are too eager to be friends after a breakup which is a bad idea because the atmosphere immediately following a breakup is too emotionally charged for it to happen right away, if at all. It is always better to be alone (not friends) during the healing process and then work towards becoming friends if need be.

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