I was at the office conversing with two of my colleagues about two of my favorite topics (money and politics) when all of a sudden woman matter came up (my least favorite topic..lol). They are both married men and were advising me on the type of woman a man desires as a wife. They had already judged my kind-of-person (temperament) and were insistent of me getting hitched to someone calm headed. In Bernard’s words “…considering the kind of person you are, you can’t get married to a viscous (wahala) woman, a woman that would challenge your authority at home, a type of woman that would talk back when you are talking, you need a woman that would be calm and let you do the talking”. Oga Richard concured and added “the truth is that my wife of over 10 years can’t talk when I am talking, if she does then the leadership of the home is in question. If I am berating her or her actions, she keeps quiet until I am done and if she wants to talk, she asks for permission to speak her mind”.
The biggest problem any home would have is a woman that talks back at her husband. A woman that doesn’t know when to keep quiet. A woman that nags her man to drunkenness. No man in his right senses is desirous of a door mat, a woman that he can tell to go to hell and she will be looking forward to the trip but at least let her have enough common sense and know how and when to use it. A man needs a woman that accords her the same respect she accords her father. If you can’t talk back at your father, if you can’t insult your father, then why act in such repulsive manner to your husband and the father of your children. I have said it before that there are three things a man needs from his woman: Respect, Space, Food and Sex (Click on each to read). A woman that knows when to talk and when to keep quiet, a woman that knows that even if her man is wrong and she is right disrespecting him in public is not the way to go about proving her innocence is priceless.
At the pinnacle of our conversation, I asked Bernard the question “so if sensible men don’t get married to the viscous women, the types that for every 2 words a man says out, she replies him with 10 words, the no nonsense types, who then marries them?”. He replied “two things would happen to such women, it’s either they end up being used and dumped by smart men or they end up getting married to a “weakling” or a “dunse”.
The Bible says in Proverbs 21:9 and Proverbs 25:24 that it is better to live on the corner of the roof than with a quarrelsome wife. Another translation put it thus “Better to live in a wilderness than with a nagging and hot-tempered wife”. I have heard women say that they don’t take nonsense from men. I was in the bus heading to my village the other day when this beautiful (facially not character-wise) chick was insulting a fellow passenger in the bus because the man called her an ashawo (prostitute) during a heated argument. She not only finished the man but the man’s mother, sisters, nieces and unborn daughters, calling all of them ashawos. In her mind, she took her pound of flesh but all I saw was a quarrelsome woman and I looked at her hand and it was ring-less and I wasn’t surprised she wasn’t married.
Ladies, please (ejo, biko), let wisdom direct. We know you are a no nonsense woman but sometimes in life, you have to stoop to conquer. Sometimes you have to loose a battle to win the war. Have you ever wondered why some miscreants beat women? Most women give them the excuse to beat them with the excessive use of their tongue.
I will repeat, no man in his right senses would desire a quarrelsome woman, no matter how beautiful she is. Be smart and know how to handle your man without disrespecting him.