1. Are you hungry?: Trust me on this, Nigerian girls are always hungry (no offense intended). It’s only a Nigerian girl that would leave her father’s house where her mother just finished cooking to go on a date with a man and still eat two plate fulls with Five Alive to push the food down. What happened to the food at home? It’s a Nigerian girl that would leave home with empty stomach because she is sure food will be served on her date. Asking a Nigerian girl if she is hungry is like asking her if she wants more money. Too much is never enough.
2. What do you want to eat?: Another question you should never ask a Nigerian girl is “what do you want to eat?” BIG MISTAKE. Let’s examine two examples:
# Joe took Ellen out and asked the infamous question “what do you want to eat?” and she replied “I am not really hungry but I’ll have fried rice with chicken and gizzard. I don’t mind it with salad and moimoi.”
# This is how you ask a Nigerian girl what she wants to eat. “Hey hun, I am eating fried rice and meat, do you mind fried rice and meat too or you prefer chicken?”. Ask her this way with a straight face and she won’t dare over order.
3. Can I have your number?: Asking a girl for her number this way gives her an excuse to say no (even if they doesn’t mean to). When asking a girl for her number, asking her give “yes or no” questions would give her room to say no. Ask her this way “(hand her your phone) and be like give me your number please, would love to call you sometime” or “I guess you are on Whatsapp (handing her your phone), give me your Whatsapp number so we could chat more”. If she’s not going to give you her number, there is nothing you can do about it but being direct shows her you mean business.
4. Are you a virgin?: Every lady wants to keep a man guessing on her sexuality. The virgins don’t want people to know they are and the non-virgins don’t want people to know they are sexually active either. Ladies would not answer this question but the easiest way to find out is talking about STIs. Initiate a convo that goes thus; After talking briefly about STIs, ask for her opinion on the whole drama, if she believes abstinence is the solution or the use of condom is better. While at it, ask for her preference, condom use or staying faithful to one partner and she will open up indirectly about her sex life or lack of.
5. How old are you?: No real woman ever discloses her true age unless something is involved (money or love). When a woman loves you, she can tell you her ATM password sef not to talk of her age but asking a lady you just met for her age is a futile mission. There are various ways to know a lady’s age if you really want to know. I will only disclose two:
# Ask her “how many years are you older than your sister with?” (hold that information for days) and then out of the blue, say something like “this your sister seems very mature, she looks 22”. She will either say “yes she is 22” or “she’s not 22 but 24”. In your head, add her sister’s age to the age gap between both and you have her age..lol
# Find out when she finished Secondary School because on average a girl finishes Secondary school aged between 16 and 18. If she says 1999, from 1999 to 2014 is 15 years, add 15 to 16, 17 and 18 you get her age range.
6. Do you have a boyfriend?: This is the wrongest question to ask a lady. Girls are always either in a relatonship, recently out of one, about entering into one. Asking her brings up boundaries that could hinder you from dating her. If you like a lady, follow the green light, don’t ask questions.
7. Would you be my girlfriend?: Asking a Nigerian girl this question gives her evidence to take you to court (friends, enemies, colleagues) with. As soon as you ask that question, two things will happen:
# She says NO: Then she has evidence that you asked her out. When your name comes up in her conversation with friends, the “he asked me out” gist will spill and imagine you end of asking her friend out, it gives the tone that she was first choice and her rejection made you go for her friend.
# She says YES: Then she has the evidence that you both are dating. Whereas if you didn’t ask her, you could claim it was just a fling. Ladies, the old fashioned way still works wonders, make sure he asks you out before dating him because you might be dating someone in your mind whereas he was simply having “fun” in his mind.
8. Are you on your period?: I was at a supermarket to buy some biscuits for my midnight candle burning exercises when I bumped into a friend. She was holding sanitary pads but on sighting me, she stylishly hid them under the books she was holding. Ladies never want men to know when they are on their periods except you both are sexually active and you make moves to initiate sex. Don’t bother asking. According to Basket Mouth (Nigerian comedian), if you want to know if a girl is on her period, get her angry and be like “why are you taking things too personal, are you on your period?”. If she isn’t, she will be quick to say no.
9. How many guys have you had sex with?: It will take a gun on her head for a lady to truthfully disclose the amount of guys she has been in bed with. If a lady is asked this question by a friend, she could readily disclose the real amount even if it’s over 20. Whereas, if a girl is asked this question by someone she sees as husband material, please don’t expect the real answer.
10. Have you aborted before?: No lady wants to ever admit getting pregnant out of wedlock not to talk of aborting the baby. It’s a decision that most of them knew was avoidable but necessary. It’s a choice that hunts most till today and talking about it opens healed wounds. Don’t ask this question unless you intend marrying her and in that case you need to know the state of her reproductive organs but I can’t assure you the truth from her lips.
NOTE: Don’t take this article too seriously. Na joke I dey o as Nigerian comedians would always say. I have been with Oyimbo babes but Nigerian girls are simply the best, simple!