1. Be ready for the “garri drinking” times: So you caught yourself a well-to-do young man working in one of the new generation banks raking in millions every month. Good for you. But be ready for the hard times also. Be ready to drink garri joyfully with your husband. Be ready to cook concortion because there is no food in the kitchen. Be ready to make sacrifices for the family. Be ready to give up buying that brazilian hair or that dress to keep food on the table. A couple that can drink pap with akara or garri with sugar together are qualified to fly first class to anywhere in the World together. Enjoy the good times together but brace for the hard times together also.
2. Finish school: I am not one of those that would support a lady getting married before finishing school because marriage is not child’s play and the distractions like pregnancy, family issues etc could be detrimental to your studies. Get a certificate and then get married.
3. Be self dependent: To all the ladies that get married as a liability. The type that can’t even make her hair without asking her husband for money. Soon and very soon, you will see the error in your ways. Your future husband should not meet you idle, you must either be gainfully employed or doing business or something you could call a stream of income before getting married.
4. Know how to cook: I can’t imagine a lady that grew up in the village not knowing how to cook when cooking is a fundamental part of village life. Our city girls of nowadays even boast of not knowing how to cook. They spend more time on social media and in clubs than in the kitchen. The effect of this indomie and fast food World of ours. Every lady should know how to cook before getting married and should know/learn how to cook her future husband’s favorite delicacies.
5. Be ever ready for sex: I was reading an article online of a lady who was complaining of her husband’s insatiable appetite for sex and I was like “what were you expecting?”. When single, you have sex when you want to but when married, you have sex when you have to. The have to clause comes in three dimensions: when you want sex, when your husband wants sex and when you just have sex for procreation. As long as it comes to sex in marriage, you will never always be in the mood, so please prepare your mind and your body to be inconvenienced.
6. Be ready to kiss ass for peace to reign: I am sure having watched Patience Ozokwor’s (Mama G) portrayal of wicked mother-in-law’s in Nollywood movies, you are aware of the level of madness that many mother-in-laws possess. Apart from mother-in-laws, your husband’s sisters, cousins, family generally could be a pain in the ass. But it takes a smart woman to take bullshit just to keep her family afloat.
7. Be ready to have a curfew: So my sister who is the only girl in the family was insistent on doing her NYSC far from home in her bid to “be free” from daddy’s watching eyes. So now she has the freedom to go out keeping late nights and all (I am sure she doesn’t do that..lol). But as soon as she gets married, the curfew days are back. A married woman can’t come home anytime she feels like. So better prepare your mind. And as for keeping single friends (the ones you beat to the altar), you will need to either disassociate yourself from them or reduce your association with them or else
water go pass garri one day.
8. Expect a faithful husband but be prepared for a unfaithful one: This is not saying your future husband will cheat. Let’s pray he doesn’t. My point is, what you are prepared for will not take you unawares and that will help reduce the impact it will have on you. Most men are prone to infidelity (God fearing ones exist though), just don’t assume your husband is a saint and end up fainting when you find out he is cheating.
9. It’s your responsibility to take care of the house not that of your husband or house help: It’s often said “give a woman a house and she will turn it into a home”. Women have the responsibility to care for, nurture and nourish the family. There is no excuse to passing up this responsibility in pursuit of career and money. If you have to work, make sure you have ample time to take care of matters at home. Remember there is no excuse.
10. Your husband comes first after God: To buttress this point, I’ll cite the story of Late Prof. Dora Akunyili as narrated by her husband. He wasn’t as popular, powerful or qualified educationally as his wife (she was a Professor while her was a Dr.) but he confessed his wife still cooked for him and even held a bowl of water for him to wash his hand before and after meals. Now that’s a humble wife. You might be richer than your husband, better placed in the society, more powerful but as soon as you step into the house, you drop all those accolades at the door and regard your husband as the boss and your oga patata. You accord him higher respect than you would your boss at work or even The President of your country. He comes first after God and even before your children and family. His comfortability comes above all. Be ready for sleepless nights as a wife and a mother. If you still live for yourself, please remain single.
11. Learn how to drive: Driving is known to be an essential part of human existence because we need a car to get around. Learning how to drive gives you that control and gives you the ability to take up the wheel when the driver is drunk, sick or incapacitated. Why leave your life in the hands of others. Learn how to drive today.