Nazlanmak is a Turkish word which loosely translated into English means “pretending reluctance or indifference when you’re actually willing or eager: saying no but meaning yes”. One of the greatest misunderstandings or should I say, the greatest mystery of women according to men is a woman’s reluctance to say/speak/admit their minds/intentions/feelings. Women according to some men are pretentious and deceitful or just don’t know what they want. Whereas men say what they want and go for it, women on the other hand, form ignorance, act like they don’t want it but inside they die to have it/him.
It’s no secret that when a woman says no, she doesn’t always means no, most times she means try again later. A woman could say no with her mouth but mean yes with her heart. Some people might term this as the “playing-hard-to-get” or the “not-knowing-what-she-wants”tactics.
So why do some most women exhibit nazlanmak attitudes towards men?:
1. They derive joy from it: On average a girl gets approached toasted by at least 5 men everyday either through social media or even while walking on the road. Therefore it’s only normal for a girl to do small shakara even to the man she finds attractive. this makes her feel on the top of the World and in charge.
2. To keep him on his toes: When a girl gives a guy the ‘NO’ feeling even when everything within her wants to say yes, she indirectly keeps him on his toes. He works harder to win her over not realizing he already has her won over but just needs to exercise patience.
3. Shows his seriousness: Men are like predators, they hunt and when they know what they want they go for it at all costs. When a guy is just testing the water i.e trying his luck with any other girl, the word NO has a way of hurting his pride and since he doesn’t see her as valuable, he moves on (to some players, the word no only turns them on the more). If a man truly values the girl in question, the word no only inspires him to try harder. I have heard tales of men that toasted the same girl for over a year until she said yes. If he wasn’t serious about her, he would have moved on a long time ago.
4. Helps hide her true intention: This nazlanmak behavior helps girls cloud their true intention. For example, a guy and a girl like each other and both want sex. The guy makes the first move but the girl feeling the same way pretends she’s not interested. He keeps on trying but she keeps refusing his advances. She later agrees to having consensual sex with him. He feels his sweet tongue and dept touch convinced her to have sex with him but unknown to him, she wanted it all along but just skillfully hid her intentions.
5. Not to look cheap: It’s always advisable for a girl to form small before saying yes to a guy. Men as I pointed out earlier have predatory instincts and most times, the harder the girl is to get, the sweeter the catch. Most men value women that took them time to get that the ones that fell on their laps.
6. Gives her more time to evaluate him and make up her mind: Saying no to a man when she actually means yes could also be a way of buying herself more time to judge his character and personality. This affords her the time and evidence to decide if he’s the right one for her.
7. A skillful way of making him feel in control when she’s really in control: A girl finally agrees to date a guy and the guy goes around boasting to his friends about his new catch and how hard he worked to get her. The girl on the other hand tells her girlfriends that she was always meaning to say yes but just wanted to test his patience and resolve.
Do girls always have to say no even when they mean yes? In some cases yes, in most cases though, be open with a guy and if he uses your openness against you then his immature and irresponsible. Pack your things and move on.