I travelled away from Nigeria for almost 2 years and I missed my country like crazy. We might not have the constant electricity, dependable internet, functional system, tarred roads that developed countries have but there is no place like home. I missed waking up to my neighbour’s generator, I missed
agege women singing thier “buy your agege bread” tone, I missed shouting “owa and mobole” when inside buses, I missed climbing okada, I missed the hustle and bustle of Lagos. So much more. This #OnlyInNigeria tread is mostly for my Nigerians in diaspora. If you miss Nigeria, read and laugh along but if you don’t miss Nigeria, read with caution because you might fall in love with your country all over again..lol. Let’s commence.
#OnlyInNigeria will PHCN collect bill
even when they didn’t give you light for the whole month…
#OnlyInNigeria that the people that ruled the country before we were born still want to rule the country again..
#OnlyInNigeria is every seasoning called maggi
#OnlyInNigeria is every noodles called indomie
#OnlyInNigeria will people not remember you when you are sick but as soon as you die, they will contribute money for your burial
#OnlyInNigeria will workers be collecting salary even after they die
#OnlyInNigeria will having a girlfriend be more expensive than buying property
#OnlyInNigeria will girls wear skimpy skirts and tops and spend the whole evening adjusting it. Dem force you wear am?
#OnlyInNigeria will asoebi be made to be a wedding’s IV. If you don’t buy it, don’t bother coming for the wedding
#OnlyInNigeria will a man impregnate a girl, deny her and not made to pay for the child’s upkeep
#OnlyInNigeria will anyone with HIV be automatically thought to have gotten it from a promiscuous past
#OnlyInNigeria will have mobile networks continually copying eachother’s ideas
#OnlyInNigeria is everyone watching a football better than the referee, the coach, the players and even FIFA
#OnlyInNigeria will the result of an election be known even before the election takes place
#OnlyInNigeria will have Pastors as one of the richest people in the country
#OnlyInNigeria is jungle justice the order of the day.
#OnlyInNigeria will people die during an exam/interview for a job and till today no one has been made to pay.
#OnlyInNigeria will relatives that weren’t close to the family come to share money and property at the death of a rich man. Gold diggers
#OnlyInNigeria will a widow, a grieving widow at that be made to shave her hair. What a disgrace to humanity
#OnlyInNigeria will a politician made massacre provoking comments as was in the case of Buhari in 2011 and never prosecuted
#OnlyInNigeria will someone that stole ordinary phone be lynched and burnt to death while a politician stealing billions is hailed as “Oga”
#OnlyInNigeria will people count money from an ATM machine. No trust for anyone including machines.SMH
#OnlyInNigeria will a widow automatically be accused of killing her husband without any investigation conducted
#OnlyInNigeria will bride price be more expensive than the wedding itself
#OnlyInNigeria will girls publicly post pictures of themselves in bikini but hide when in panties and bra. Whats the difference madam?..lol
#OnlyInNigeria will pastors name their program after the condition of the country like “Bind every Ebola spirit in your life”. Haba
#OnlyInNigeria will parents give their children such outrageous names as Power, Fire, Righteousness, Sacrifice etc
#OnlyInNigeria will ordinary Local Govt chairman block road because he is passing talkless of President who blocks the whole town
#OnlyInNigeria will a girl that likes wearing g-strings be considered a bad girl
#OnlyInNigeria will guys and girls do trade and barter for sex. The girl offers sex but only if the guy can offer love or money
#OnlyInNigeria does Pastors have the most private jets
#OnlyInNigeria is number of children in a family inversely proportional to the wealth of the family. The poorest families have the most kids
#OnlyInNigeria will a family spend more on recharge card than they do on food
#OnlyInNigeria will someone that just left church be fighting with conductor for N10 change
#OnlyInNigeria will people be suffering and smiling. #StrongPeople
#OnlyInNigeria a couple will have introduction, traditional wedding, white wedding and some go come add court wedding ontop..dem swear 4 us?
#OnlyInNigeria will someone have 3 phones with 3 different networks because of the undependability of most networks
#OnlyInNigeria will nudity in movie be frowned at but na dem dey watch blue film pass
#OnlyInNigeria will their movies have Part 1 and 2 with one name with Part 3 and 4 ascribed a different name
#OnlyInNigeria will their movies have ghosts with shadows and ghosts picking calls
#OnlyInNigeria will police be doing the work of FRSC and V.I.O. Wetin concern una concern driver’s license now?
#OnlyInNigeria that you can bribe your way out of anything, yes anything. Everyone has a price they say
#OnlyInNigeria will a jobless somebody iphone, blackberry and an ipad all the same time. Sell one and start a business
#OnlyInNigeria will a phone as dead as Blackberry be the number one smart phone
#OnlyInNigeria will people attend a wedding they don’t even know the couple getting married
#OnlyInNigeria will a tribe *lips sealed* destroy a child’s face in the name of tribal marks
#OnlyInNigeria will banks give their marketers targets of up to N500 million/month. You want them to do blood money?
#OnlyInNigeria is every sausage roll called Gala
#OnlyInNigeria will people answer a question with a question like “wassup?” N a reply with “wetin dey happen 4 ur side?”
#OnlyInNigeria will a girl be raped and the society will blame the girl for apparently dressing seductively *sad*
#OnlyInNigeria that everyone both rich and poor eat akara, agege bread or moi moi
#OnlyInNigeria that all our parents carried first in their classes…abeg whose parents carried last?
#OnlyInNigeria people will drink water and salt to kill a virus…not worm o…virus!
#OnlyInNigeria will u see police men too afraid to fight robbers harassing innocent drivers over expired driver’s license or particulars
#OnlyInNigeria will politicians dash voters bags of rice to win votes
#OnlyInNigeria will Master’s and PhD degree holders apply for a job as drivers and gabbage collectors. God help us
Join the movement on twitter by searching the hashtag #OnlyInNigeria and adding things that happen only in our beloved country or joining over 50K amazing people following our twitter handle @kurtissmithblog. ONE NIGERIA.