1. Only a courageous woman can fry a bunch of plantain (dodo) without tasting any – Albert Einstein (1872).
2. He who says nothing last forever has never tried Hausa perfume – Isaac Newton (1904).
3. He who fully unwraps shawarma or gala completely before eating it cannot keep a secret – Abraham
4. Anyone anywhere in the World that counts money from an ATM machine is probably a Nigerian – Charles Soludo (2008).
5. Any man that uses his teeth to cut shaki from pepper-soup with his eyes wide open is not afraid of anything – Martin Luther King Jnr (1942).
6. Anyone that can kill a chicken by cutting its throat without feeling sorry for it is capable of joining Boko Haram – Buhari (2012).
7. Anyone who thinks he has many enemies has never been with a mountain of fire member – William Shakespeare (1788).
8. Anyone that says someone is ugly has not seen them in an AC tight, gbedu pumping Range Rover Sport – Oprah Winfrey (2004).
9. Any lady that doesn’t ask “where did you get my pin from?” when you add her is looking for a husband – Steve Jobs (2010).
10. Any man that can go to a wedding reception when he is fasting and doesn’t eat is worthy of collecting a loan without collateral – Olusegun Obasanjo (2012).
11. Anyone that says money cannot buy happiness is probably not rich – Aliko Dangote (2014).
12. He who ask for stew on top of jollof rice has trust issues – Alexander the Great (1709).
13. He who refuses to classify Agege bread and Akara as a type of sandwich is a racist – Martin Luther king Jnr (1931).
14. Any man who drinks Alomo Bitters without squeezing his face, is capable of murder – Michael Faraday (1899).
15. Anyone that can shit without squeezing his face is not feeling fine – Bill Clinton (1994).
16. Anyone that didn’t use Cabin biscuits, Limca and Coke to do birthday was probably born after Abacha died – Dele Giwa (1997).
17. Drinking garri doesn’t mean you’re poor, but allowing the garri to swell-up before drinking is Poverty- Queen Elisabeth (1893).
18. He who runs around looking for scissors to cut indomie seasoning sachets is not yet hungry -Sir Dr Nnamdi Azikiwe (1947).
19. You claim you share everything in love but no matter how much you love someone, you can never share their toothbrush – Pastor Chris (2001).
20. Saying a girl hasn’t experienced heartbreak is like saying a car has never had a flat tire. Its possible but very unlikely – Yakubu Gowon (1965).
21. A woman who rejects a man with vision and follows a man with television will soon watch the man with vision on her television – Babatunde Fashola (2013).
22. A man who marries a woman only because of her beauty would soon realize that beauty without brain is like a Bentley without fuel. It doesn’t work. Lord Lugard (1904).
23. A bad attitude is like a flat tire. It won’t take you far – Herbert Macauley (1935).
24. A woman who is not afraid of rat or cockroach is capable of witchcraft – Namadi Sambo (2011).
25. Love is like cutting onions, it will always bring tears to your eyes either tears of joy or tears of heartbreak – Dr. Phil (2002).
26. To whom brain is given, sense is expected – Bill Gates (2000).
27. A woman that claims all men are dogs should tell us what breed her father is – Lamido Sanusi (1999).
28. He who claims he can’t pray to God because he is a sinner is like a man that doesn’t want to have his bath because he’s dirty – Pope John Paul (1990).
29. No matter how hot your temper is, it cannot cook yam – Goodluck Jonathan (2014).
30. The woman that will tell me she is on her period after eating my suya, shawarma, beer and pizza has not yet been born – Jim Iyke (2002).
31. Anyone that didn’t cut grass while in school is definitely an ajebutter child – Stephanie Okereke (2013).
32. My beautiful, hot, expensive to maintain girlfriend sneezes in public and one man tells her “bless you”. Hey, she’s already blessed dating me, mind your business – Mike Adenuga (2003).
33. Any man that dates a girl with big boobs and doesn’t squeeze it can be trusted with money – Michael Jackson (1980).
34. Don’t borrow out money you can’t dash out. Because these days to lend money is human but to get it back is divine – Mr. Ibu (2012).
35. Anyone that reads this without laughing, that person is looking for a job – Lord Lugard (1914).