I was on a friend’s blog where she asked her readers the question “why e bi sey the marriages of now adays no dey last like for the time wey our papa and mama dem marry” which for our Non-Nigerian readers means “What do you think is the reason why more people get divorced now as compared to past generations.” The question got numerous comments from her readers with people voicing their opinions. To read the post and the comments, please visit www.ifythereceiver.wordpress.com
Below is my comment on the question which I posted on her blog but decided to share it here as an article so it could bless us.
Marriage should be enjoyed not endured but when you fail to utilize the two commandments of marriage which will be discussed below then you have to endure marriage because once you are in you are in. Divorce is not an option. Some couples enjoyed marriage because they utilized the two commandments of marriage while others simply endured it and that’s simply why marriages lasted more then than now.
In this modern era, we don’t use the two commandments and yet we don’t want to endure. We make divorce an option. We enjoy the good times and jump ship during the not so good times. Maybe due to impatience, other options, financial independence (with some ladies), selfishness, mistrust, unforgiveness..the list is endless.
But one thing I’ll tell you is this; the Word of God is the same yesterday, today and in Mark 12:30-31 and Jesus was asked which is the greatest commandment, He said “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength and the second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these”. These commandments are the bed rock of any successful marriage.
1) When you love God with all your heart and might you will not do anything evil to your spouse, you will not cheat on him/her, you will not hurt her, you will not beat her, you will not disrespect him, you will not antagonize him, you will not belittle her because these are the things God does not like.
2) When you love your neighbor (spouse) as yourself you will take care of her, you will wake up 3am to cook for him, you will give her your car to drive, you will not want to stress her, you will assist her at home, you will praise her, you will appreciate him, you will sacrifice for her, you will buy things for her, you will manage his funds properly, you will be patient with him when things are not going well, you will not force things on her, you will talk to her with respect and dignity because there are the things you will do to yourself.
In conclusion, marriages fail whether then or now because they don’t enjoy and endure together, they don’t love God with all their hearts and they don’t love their spouses as themselves.