The Best Lovers Make The Best Forgivers


When I was in the university, there was this sign board along the route to my school that said “Marriage is a union of two forgivers living together”. I don’t remember the person or group credited with that saying, or the advert with the saying but that lesson till today has been the most important lesson I have learnt as relating to marriage. The problem we usually have in relationships/marriage is that we are too selfish to love. It’s always about me, me and me. He hurt ME, he lied to ME, he cheated on ME, he didn’t buy ME gifts, and he ignored ME. If love is all about you, then don’t you think you should remain single and keep loving only yourself?
To be a lover, you have to be a forgiver. Let me tell you this categorically, you cannot be a lover, if you cannot be a forgiver.
Parents are a definition of love. There were times you disrespected them but they always forgave you because of the love they have for you. There were other times we made them cry but they always forgave us because they loved us. You easily forgive those that you love. No matter how hurt you might feel, remember love is not all about you. When you find it hard forgiving your partner, you will find it hard loving your partner.
In Matthew 18:22, Peter asked Jesus how many times he should forgive his brother or sister who offended him and Jesus told him 70 times by 7 which I interpret as meaning you should forgive 70 times in a day. Therefore if you forgive the person just twice a day then the remaining 68 are carried over to the next day. It simply means forgiving your partner in marriage should never stop. The reason for divorce is when a couple get tired of forgiving their spouse. I remember the story of man that my pastor always shares in church. This man had marital issues with his wife and the pastor visited them in a bid to settle the issue.
The following conversation ensued between the pastor and the man.
Pastor: The Bible says in Ephesians 5:25 that thou shall love your wife. Why don’t you love your wife Brother James?
Brother James: Pastor in fact she doesn’t stay in the same room with me, she stays in the next room because I cannot stand her anymore.
Pastor: Brother, but the Bible says in Mark 12:31 that you should love your neighbour.
Brother James: Pastor, this woman has offended me and her own is too much. I cannot forgive her this time around. In fact she is my enemy.
Pastor: Brother you say you can’t forgive her because she is your enemy but the Bible says in Matthew 5:44 that thou shall love your enemy.
No matter the excuse Brother James came up with, the Bible always gave a better reason for him to forgive and love his wife.
Remember to love is to forgive. If your don’t have a forgiving heart, you cannot be a lover.

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