10 Ways Sex Ruins Relationships


We all know about sex and how it affects our daily lives. Everyone of us apart from test tube babies are born out of sexual intercourse between a male and a female. The jury is still out on the impact of premarital sex but we all agree that sex should only be practiced in the confines of marriage. Let’s not deceive ourselves people are having sex on a daily basis. As a matter of fact, a statistics I discovered in http://www.quora.com states that roughly 240 million people have sex daily and I can guess not up to 30% of these people are married. Anyways back to the matter at hand, this article just analyses the different ways premarital sex can affect a relationship detrimentally.

1. Faulty Foundation: A relationship built on friendship and companionship will always last longer than a relationship built on sex. The part a solid foundation plays in the solidification of a building cannot be overemphasized. No matter how beautiful a building is, if the foundation is faulty its only a matter of time before that building collapses. When sex is used to build a relationship, more times than not it doesn’t last.

2. Disappointment: Have you ever wondered why people that marry as virgins are more content with their sex lives in marriage than people that had lots of sex before marriage. This is simply because there is no level for comparison between current and former sexual partner. The only reason you will enjoy vanilla ice cream over strawberry ice cream is because you have tasted both and you prefer one over the other. As soon as you taste sex outside marriage and you are not deriving the same pleasure you did prior to marriage while in marriage, a sense of disappointment engulfs you.

3. Over-dependency  This question is directed to the ladies; have you ever dated someone that avoids you when you are on your period? Someone that anytime you both see, sex is always on the menu? When sex is all that binds a couple together, not companionship or friendship then I can rest assure you that as soon as her/she gets better sex outside, you are on your way to be called an ex.

4. Cheating: There are many reasons people cheat but one of the major reasons happens to be sex related. An interesting study published in 2005 found that more men cheat because of sex than women. If a girl thinks she can satisfy her man in bed, guess what another girl thinks she can satisfy your man her man better.

5. Diseases: The rate at which sexually transmitted diseases are transferred from one person to another through sex is alarming these days. People don’t realize that they are having sex with more than 10 people when they are having sex with an unfaithful partner. For example, you have sex with a guy that has unprotected sex with 5 other girls. Those girls had sex with one other guy each which means whatever they contacted from those guys have been transferred to her unfaithful boyfriend who then transfers it to her. STIs are not limited to HIV, it also includes other infections like gonorrhea, syphilis, genital herpes and many others.

6. Aborted Dreams: when a lady gets pregnant in marriage its a joy for her family but when a lady gets pregnant outside marriage she becomes a scorn to her family. It’s either she aborts and dies trying, she aborts and lives with the guilt forever, she aborts and destroys her womb or she gives birth to the child and has to stop her education to take care of the baby. For more info on premarital pregnancy and its effects, see (The Domino Effects of Premarital Pregnancy: http://wp.me/p4d0zy-5x)

7. Distrust: If your spouse was unable to show self-control before marriage what makes him or her have self-control after marriage? Many people have affairs because they have never demonstrated control of their sexual drive prior to the marriage vows. Premarital sex can lead to adultery, which is a high cause of divorce.

8. Disrespect: Often having a sexual relationship in dating can lead to feelings of being used and rejected. A lady has sex with her boyfriend and when they break up, the guy moves on easily but the lady feels used which affects her relationship with other men.

9. Spiritual Disconnection: The Bible frowns on premarital sex and when practiced outside the confines of marriage has a way of disconnecting us from God. Remember premarital sex is a sin and according to 1 Corinthians 6:18 “Flee from sexual immorality”.

10. Disillusionment: Sex has a way of clouding our judgement and keeping us blind to a person’s faults and bad habits. I remember a friend who came to me with a heavy heart, she claims that her boyfriend hits her at any slight provocation but after he hits her, she begs and they have makeup sex which according to her is usually the best sex ever. She has this amazing sex life with this woman beater and this clouds her judgment of him. I asked her the day he finally damages one of her eyes with his beatings, would she enjoy the sex with one eye? That question made her think straight and look beyond the sex to the real matter at hand. Sex is like a plaster that covers an injury. It might cover the hurt you feel inside for a short time but after a while, the plaster falls off and you are exposed to the hurt for a life time.

Paul’s solution in 1 Corinthians 7:25-28 for dealing with sexual desires and avoiding the problems listed above is to get married and have sex (a lot of God-ordained sex..*wink*). Getting married doesn’t necessarily solve sexual temptations but its a good place to start.

Thanks for reading and please lets encourage abstainance till marriage by sharing this article with friends on social media. #Cheers


Contact Kurtis Smith for relationship advice, counseling, freelance writing and consultancy work along with speaking at public or private events via these means:
Twitter: @kurtissmithblog
Email: kingkurtissmith@gmail.com
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11 Comments Add yours

  1. ohiza says:


  2. juliet says:

    Thank u Kurtis 4 dis wonderful article. It’s very encouraging. God bless u dear.

    1. Yipeeee!!!..I encouraged someone through an article!…always inspiring to know I could inspire others. God bless u too hun

  3. Amie says:

    This is lovely.. Keep it up Charles 🙂

    1. Thanks Amarachi…I really appreciate!..xx

  4. Steve Itelima says:

    Have we ever wondered why Jesus came through a Virgin woman? That’s cos he values virginity. Pls abstain.

    1. Very well said bro!….

  5. Lesh J. says:

    @Steve…Being and remaining a virgin is nothing but a personal choice. I’m a virgin but I stay this way not because of Jesus or anything. It’s just what I want for myself. So if people want to masturbate or whatnot, it’s their prerogative too. It doesn’t make one evil or un-Christian. #IMHO

  6. Lesh J. says:

    Another thing though, it says premarital sex is a sin. But why is almost everyone I know having sex before they get hitched? It seems like that rule doesn’t quite apply in our world today. Virgins are regarded as ‘nerdy’ or too ‘outdated’, well that’s what i feel though. Just an observation… Nice one, K!

    1. Sweerie everyone is doing it doesn’t make it right. All politicians are stealing money, does it make it right to steal? Some married men are cheating on their wives, does it make it right to cheat? Some people are sleeping with members of the same sex, does it make it right to be gay? So everyone is sleeping around before marriage doesn’t make it right. Virgins are regarded as ‘nerdy’ and ‘outdated’ by the devil and his agents. You have it, don’t loose it till marriage. A word is enough for the smart, cos I am sure you are a very smart lady. Thanks for the comment dear.

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