The 5 Love Languages (Part 4): Touch



The 5 love languages is written by Dr. Gary Chapman and it entails the importance of being able to express love to your spouse in a way that your spouse can understand. Every human being has a love language and more times than not, your love language is not your partner’s love language. The 5 love languages include:
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Receiving Gifts
3. Acts of Service
4. Physical Touch
5. Quality Time
Remember, every individual has a love language and until that love language is met by his/her partner, he/she doesn’t feel completely loved. Speaking in your spouse’s love language probably won’t be natural for you. Dr. Chapman says, “We’re not talking comfort, we’re talking love. Love is something we do for someone else. so often couples love one another but they aren’t connecting. They are sincere, but sincerity isn’t enough.”There is the primary (most important), secondary, tertiary love language because most individuals have more than one love language with varying importance. I discussed the love languages “Words of Affirmation”, “Receiving Gifts” and “Acts of Service” in my last posts, let’s continue to the next:

4. Physical Touch: We all know the emotional power of physical touch. That’s why we pick up babies and touch them tenderly. When a baby is crying, no matter how much grammar you speak, he might never stop crying but as soon as you carry him up and hold him tenderly, he immediately stops crying. In relationships, physical touch involves but not limited to sexual intercourse, it also involves stroking your spouse’s back, holding hands, a peck on the cheek, kiss on the hand, cuddling, putting a hand across your spouse’s shoulder, touching each other’s legs as you are driving together, embracing, and many more.
This is probably the most overrated and often the most abused love language. That awkward moment when a guy tells a girl that if you love me you will have sex with me. The reason why I say physical touch is often abused by people especially guys is the fact that sex is no longer an expression of love but now a form of exercise. I am not a fan of PSA (Public Show of Affection) which involves holding hands in public, kissing in public and all those luvvy duvvy things. Then as if life wanted to teach me a lesson I dated a girl that PSA was her bread and butter, she would hold my hand in public and I will use style to untangle myself and she would feel so bad. It was not until I realized that physical touch was her love language especially PSA that I started indulging her. It was not convenient for me at first but what is love without compromise, what is love without such selfless acts, I loved her so I did what she wanted me to do for her to feel loved.
Physical touch could also include foreplay. As I explained in “SEX: 10 Mistakes Guys Make”, most men only recognize a woman’s breasts, buttocks and private part but fail to realize that a girl’s neck, her ears, her cleavage, her belly button, her feet, her back especially the spinal cord, her inner thighs are often neglected but hold the power to her sexual satisfaction. If physical touch is her love language please indulge her, remember love is about the other person and not about you.

To read about the other 4 love languages, follow the links below:
1. Words of Affirmation:
2. Receiving Gifts:
3. Acts of Service:
5. Quality Time:

To determine and understand your love language, please click on:

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