The 5 Love Languages (Part 1): Words



The 5 love languages is written by Dr. Gary Chapman and it entails the importance of being able to express love to your spouse in a way that your spouse can understand. Every human being has a love language and more times than not, your love language is not your partner’s love language. The 5 love languages include:
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Receiving Gifts
3. Acts of Service
4. Physical Touch
5. Quality Time
Remember, every individual has a love language and until that love language is met by his/her partner, he/she doesn’t feel completely loved. Speaking in your spouse’s love language probably won’t be natural for you. Dr. Chapman says, “We’re not talking comfort, we’re talking love. Love is something we do for someone else. so often couples love one another but they aren’t connecting. They are sincere, but sincerity isn’t enough.”There is the primary (most important), secondary, tertiary love language because most individuals have more than one love language with varying importance. I will discuss each love language citing various examples in the process for understanding. Let’s commence:

1. Words of Affirmation: This is simply when you vocally appreciate your partner either for something they did for you or just appreciating them for who they are. Imagine a woman goes to the market, spends 2 hours in this hot Lagos sun to buy food stuff, spends another 3 hours cooking her husband’s favorite dish, waits for him to come back, warms it, serves him with cold water or even juice, he eats it and doesn’t even utter a word of appreciation, if you were this woman how would you feel?
Now imagine if her husband on seeing his favorite dish starts praising his wife “my love, my baby, my sugar, so you took out time to prepare my favorite dish, you are and will always be my sweet potato” and as he is eating it he keeps saying words like “this food is so delicious, darling come and join me please, I can’t eat this sweet food alone” and when he’s done he walks up to her, kisses her and thanks her for the wonderful meal. If you are the woman that her husband appreciated her like this, wouldn’t you be willing to travel from Lagos to Ibadan just to get the food stuff to make his favorite dish? Do you appreciate your spouse for something they did for you?
Another way of using words of affirmation is saying nice things about him or her. Imagine a lady who spends 5 hours in the salon to make her hair, spends another hour making her self up, wears her special dress and then leaves the comfort of her bed to go on a date with you and you fail to appreciate her with words like “wow, babe you look stunning and your new hair looks so beautiful”, after a while you say something like “baby see as every guy is admiring you, I hope I don’t have to kill someone soon for overlooking my babe”. How often do you flatter her with words?
I remember when I started this blog, I spent hours upon hours reading books and listening to tapes in a bid to get fresh materials for my articles. Whenever people appreciate my write-ups with words like “you’re doing a good job, keep it up, may God continually empower you, your articles have really inspired me” and so on. These words have a way of spurring me on and making me feel appreciated for all the hard work. Do you appreciate people enough?
Another way of using words of affirmation is when you appreciate your spouse for doing something to improve themselves. Imagine your boyfriend is preparing for an exam, stays up all night studying. He is not studying for you, he’s studying for himself but when you say words like “baby you have been up since 12 am, may God help you achieve success this exams”, “retentive memory is your portion”, “I am sure proud of your achievements”. such words have a way of making him feel empowered and blessed to have you in his life. If your spouse’s primary love language is words of affirmation, please don’t keep your mouth shut. Speak. These words will also build your mate’s self image and confidence.

To read about the other 4 love languages, follow the links below:
2. Receiving Gifts:
3. Acts of Service:
4. Physical Touch:
5. Quality Time:

To determine and understand your love language, please click on:

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