FUNDAMENTAL TECHNIQUES IN HANDLING PEOPLE
I love ice cream but no matter how much I love ice cream, if I go fishing I can never use ice cream as bait to catch fish. I either use a worm or I am just wasting my time. When I went fishing, I didn’t think about what I wanted. I thought about what the fish wanted. Why not use the same common sense when fishing for people? Why talk about what we want? That is childish. Absurd. Of course, you are interested in what you want. You are eternally interested in it. But no one else is. The rest of us are just like you: we are interested in what we want. So the only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.
Every act you have ever performed since the day you were born was performed because you wanted something. How about the time you gave money to a charity or gave items to an orphanage or even helped a broke friend? Yes, that is no exception to the rule. You gave that money because you wanted to lend a helping hand; you wanted to do a beautiful,unselfish, divine act. ”
Remember that tomorrow when you are trying to get somebody to do something. If, for example, you want to ask a girl out or propose to your girlfriend, don’t go about telling her how she makes you feel, how is the one for you, how she makes you happy. These are nice things to say but you’re just telling her about you, tell her how you make her feel, how you make her smile, how you make her happy, how you make her laugh, how supportive you are of her.
Here is one of the best bits of advice ever given about the fine art of human relationships. “If there is any one secret of success,” said Henry Ford, “it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.” That is so good, I want to repeat it: “If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.”
That is so simple, so obvious, that anyone ought to see the truth of it at a glance; yet 90 percent of the people on this earth ignore it 90 percent of the time. The world is full of people who are grabbing and self-seeking. So the rare individual who unselfishly tries to serve others has an enormous advantage. He has little competition.
Owen D. Young, a noted lawyer and one of America’s great business leaders, once said: “People who can put themselves in the place of other people who can understand the workings of their minds, need never worry about what the future has in store for them.” Looking at the other person’s point of view and arousing in him an eager want for something is not to be construed as manipulating that person so that he will do something that is only for your benefit and his detriment. William Winter once remarked that “self-expression is the dominant necessity of human nature.” Why can’t we adapt this same psychology to business dealings? When we have a brilliant idea, instead of making others think it is ours, why not let them cook and stir the idea themselves.
Remember: “First, arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.”
Arouse in the other person an eager want.
“How To Make Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie